tough

You could say, these are rough times for me. It's hard to be tough sometimes, I just wanna creep under my blanket and have someone to comfort me, like yesterday.
And when there's no one around, it's even harder. Then I learn that the person needs to be me alone in the first place, no running away from that or I'll just bump into the same old walls in life.

The sea of my life isn't nice and calm now. Waves are splashing into my face and I have to make a double effort to keep above the surface. I see nothing but the blue horizont around me and the sunlight blinding me, but not a single solid thing to hold onto, not even a buoy I can rest for a while and catch my breath.

I'm not swimming all alone, I have two beautiful, smart and gentle kids on my back, with their little hands put around my neck, and that keeps me going right now, I can't go down, not with them on my back, no.

I have faith in that I will be strong and tough enough to pass through these difficult times. I have always been in my life. I am able to face the facts and continue my life accepting things have changed.
I can't afford to look into my heart and cry with it, feel sorry for myself, feel abandoned and lost. I have to keep going.
I have to find a shore or an island, a ship or at least a raft... and build my life all new again.

So, no giving up dear Tanja... show the world what you are made off. The weak ones go down. Only the strongest survive. The law of evolution. Tough but true.