A quiet weekend

It was a nice one and I needed some time for myself only, didn't have a free day for 2 weeks.


So on Saturday I went to the flower market and bought some pine branches to make an Advent wreath. It's a tradition and I do it each year and prefer creating my own instead of buying one someone made....This year will be a bit different since I didn't have the kids around me or anyone, but well...life changes. Thinking of xmas alone was painful at times, but as soon as I had a sad thought, I put double effort in it and replaced it with 5 happy thoughts.

So, yesterday, on the first Advent, I lit up one candle, and sat in front of it, kinda meditating, looking into that flame.


I was listening to "chasing cars" and it didn't take long for tears to start rolling....and well, some real catharsis following....like another layer within that needed to be purified.

And I felt an urge to visit that special church I feel a connection to....so I dressed and went there....it felt good...getting comfort, peace, hope....being alone with my own thoughts, directing my thoughts toward a higher self...dunno, pretty sure there is one...

Last time I was there, all I wished for was my kids to be happy....and all of my thoughts went into the direction of their well being. My kids are really fine, and now I think it's time life takes care about the mom too...so this time, from all my being, I asked for LOVE.

I long for it.

And I asked that all fake things, all illusional things just drop off....disintegrate, dissolve....disappear from my life. And I'm totally ready to see the truth, no matter what, even if there is nothing to see there, and my path in front of me is totally an empty road. But I want to see it. I don't want to live in illusions leading nowhere.

So, that was pretty much what I had to share with the Universe...lol

Walked home, really fast....had a lot of thins to clear out of my system...many emotions to clear...and it was okay again. I feel fine today.

Today in the office:

And look how I found my two kids the other day! Playing with my av in 2nd Life...well, dear V. looks like my genes were a lil bit more stronger...ahahahahaha